by John "Slim Goodbody" Burstein
Self esteem is the corner stone to making a child strong from the inside out. Her are 19 Must Do's that will benefit your child for a lifetime.
Praise appropriately and frequently. Excessive praise can lead to unrealistic expectations or discount "true" praise.
Proactively (with undivided attention) listen - at eye level.
Encourage sports of all kinds.
Accept your child's every idiosyncrasy.
Search for talents.
Set limits.
Enforce limits through discipline.
Teach your child to visualize his or her positive traits and positive outcomes.
Have your child practice making positive self statements. This could be one or two "repeat after me's" at bedtime (i.e., I am a freat reader. I am getting better at reading every day.)
Help your child make friends (more on that in upcoming newsletters).
Give your child lots of opportunities to make choices and decisions and to recognize her good decisions.
Watch what you say. Stay away from sarcasm and negative comments (i.e., instead of "Are you still flip flopping your b's and d's?" Say "Let's practice the letters b and d today so that we stay away from flip flops.")
Keep criticism to a minimum. Praise the opposite. (Look, you wrote 2 b's and 3 d's perfectly today!)
Be a positive role model.
Identify and redirect any inaccurate beliefs your child may hold about themselves. (Yes, you are good at math/reading/spelling. Look at how many answers you got right. And, we're going to continue to practice so that we can get even more right next time.)
Provide constructive, non-judgmental experiences for your child to be involved with.
Show your child there is a way they can control and/or redirect their feelings (i.e., you can teach them to count to three when they are angry at someone or something, or that it's okay to walk away from a situation that makes them mad.)
Say "I love you" every day, and mean it. Say "You're special" every day, and mean it. Say "When you grow up, you will be awesome" every day, and mean it. Intuitively you know that if you told a child everyday that they were stupid and worthless that it would have a lasting effect on them. Therefore it stands to reason that if you tell your child everyday that she is special and amazing that these kinds of words will also have a life-long positive effect.
Make a name poem together. Artfully frame it and hang it prominently in your child's room. Read it aloud everyday. Agree with it. For example:
***DAN***
Dynamic
Amazing
Nice