A few blocks away from my home shines a small store that regularly seeks to flatten my bank account. There I find the latest bulbs, flowers, and all manner of gardening gear. This time of year, their bulbs brighten my life.

Photos of bulbs gloriously blooming in rock-filled containers always draw me right in. So, for the past few years, I've forced several bulbs in just that way. Wrong, wrong, wrong! I've been killing these beauties regularly because I didn't know how to force blooms without draining the bulbs.

Until now.

Last week, the kind owner of the store enlightened me. The correct way to force bulbs is to plant them. Dirt (not rocks), food (not just water), sunshine -- all the care you provide for other plants, you must provide for bulbs if you want them to live to see another year.

It struck me that often we treat caregiving in the same fashion I've forced bulbs. Ignoring the fundamentals of care for the caregiver, we push, forcing ourselves to perform without attending to basic needs until we have exhausted all our energy with nothing left to carry us over to the next year.

If you're a primary caregiver, you're in danger of both physical and mental burnout. Ask for help! While you may be waiting for friends and family to volunteer, they may be waiting for you to ask. Here are a few places to begin:

1. Hold a family meeting to discover what other family members can do to help you. Most will be happy to help in one way or another. But they have to understand you would welcome their assistance! You would, wouldn't you?

2. Ask your friends for help. Could they trade out care responsibilities for a few hours a week? Share cooking duties? Come by to visit more often? Again, they can't know what you need unless you tell them.

3. See what help you can find from the Visiting Nurse Association. Check the web and check your local phone book. Branches exist in almost every community.

4. Check out Senior Corps. Older volunteers will come to your home to be a companion for 10 or 20 hours each week. Your devotion to your aging relative is great, but to stay the course you must stay well. Your most important responsibility as a caregiver is caring for yourself.

Don’t miss the launch of the 2nd edition of How to Find Great Senior Housing. Buy a copy April 15, 2004, and receive bonus gifts worth more than $230.00. Full details on our website (http://www.thebestisyet.net) April 14th.